Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
