I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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