Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
