just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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