Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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