Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
