Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We have started to decorate penises.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
