good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
