I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
