Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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