OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
True strength comes from lack of pants
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
