yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
