as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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