What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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