I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
