Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
