hell yes lets make some ravioli
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
