And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
