Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
