Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize