he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
