writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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