If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
