He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
