i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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