Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize