Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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