This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize