Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize