I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
