Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Houston, we have a blender
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
