how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
