In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
