New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
