Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
