am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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