is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
