i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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