Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
this will be a night to untag.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
