why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When are your genitals available?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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