Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
