Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
