I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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