Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
