I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize