I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
