wrigley field is MILF paradise
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
