"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
