fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
