I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
