I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
