i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
