similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
