He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
