Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
this will be a night to untag.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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