i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
