i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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