the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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