i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
